THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR ASSUMPTIONS

Over the years many of us have prided ourselves as little gods who, sometimes do not even need to look at ones appearance twice before drawing up conclusions. Oh he is from a wealthy family, yes she is married, true the kid is hers, surely that child is homeless, and the other one is a rude snub. The list is endless.

Even though sometimes we are almost correct with our projections, it still does not roll out the fact that at different occasions we have confidently roped others into a belief that may hurt them in the future. For instance, these assumptions were made in front of a friend whose emotional strength and information process are a bit fragile and you have said something that has made him/her see the subject of discussion in a light that is really unpleasing. Unbeknownst to them, those projections were not true, they go around disliking or even judging an innocent character and this could go on for years. Heck the subjects may even lose favor because someone was trying to play god and test his/her psychic powers.

This does not go to say that assumptions are entirely bad or should be put far away from us because for every word spoken and every action taken there is a tiny slice of assumption attached to it. A typical example of a clear display of assumption is the conversations we have over the phone, whether it is through a text message, phone call, a video call, or even an audio message. All the messages exchanged are interpreted on the bases of an assumption. Because someone laughed to that joke does not mean it was funny to them, because someone did not laugh also does not mean it was not funny to them, but we have come to accept that laughing out loud means they got the joke.

We do not just display our assuming skills on friends alone, we also extend it to products, ideas, relationships, our mastery of a thing, our feelings, medications, our environments, a leadership position, the effect of your family’s name in a situation, how the government will react, our finances etc.

Having established that assumptions are here to stay, I would want to take this opportunity to buttress ironically the assumptions on top of assumptions. That is “there are no consequences for the assumptions we make”. Actually every word spoken and every action taken has a consequence attached, whether good or bad. The problem here is that we have first not come to terms with the existence of such consequences, talk more of preparing for them.

Have you ever wondered why that very close friend is not so close anymore? Or have you wondered why you have not left a particular position at work in the last five years? Really take a break and ask yourself how true your assumptions are. The assumption that your supervisor does not like you has deterred you from changing your game plan and working your way out of that position all this years. If you take a closer look he hopes that you can get your game act on and work, because he is running out of options in persuading the company to continue to keep you on their pay roll. He may or may not like you but really your focus should be on maintaining your job not about what he thinks. I have already said a lot but I have more to say hence my writing.

I will be taking you all on a journey on the effect of the assumptions and a host of other topics and how it affects our daily living. I hope that I will keep you interested, thinking and planning. Till I come your way again .

“Don’t build roadblocks out of assumptions.”― Lorii Myers